You guys. You will never guess what happened to me. I went on vacation with a friend for a week, and while I was gone, the Five-Percent Fairies came to my house and finished the buffet.
They DO exist!Continue Reading
Some of you may be aware that I have a history of making BOLD, INNOVATIVE, ORIGINAL color choices for the walls around here. Well, I’ve done it again. After speaking with our real estate agent and being told that taupe was the new hot neutral, I thought,”Whaaaaaa? Nope. Ugh. Taupe is lame.”
I mean, come on. Taupe? Neutral, yes. Hot, no. Beige was the color to beat in the early 90’s. Changing the name to “taupe” isn’t going to fool anyone. C’mon, trendsetters. Try harder. Right?Continue Reading
Hey! Anyone else out there like dramatic before-and-afters??
Oh hey there, dining room, you look nice today. Is that 4 coats of paint you’re wearing?Continue Reading
A couple of weeks ago, my best frenemy said to me, “You know, is it really still ‘Sarah’s Big Idea’? It seems like you only ever do little stuff now.”
Frenemies are the worst. You can spend months or even years unconsciously tuning out everything they say, and then one day, BAM! A single sentence suddenly penetrates your frenemy fog and you are like, well, damn. He is right. I am a pathetic shell of my former glorious self.
You know what it is? I don’t give two shits about the woodwork.
There, I said it.Continue Reading
Let me just start by saying, thank you.
Thank you to all of you for still being here. Thank you to the anonymous hundreds that Google Analytics reports to me. Thank you to the people that like or comment on Facebook. And thank you especially to those of you who took the time to write such thoughtful, supportive things in the comments of my last post. It is hard to overstate the restorative power of kind words, particularly when they come from people you’ve never met.
Would it make things awkward between us if I told you that you really touched me?
Okay. Sorry about that.
Moving on! Remember that time I thought I was on a boat?
You’d think it’d be the fence, because when a prominent feature of your landscape makes a statement like this, how could one possibly notice anything else?
Well. I notice, obviously. My OCD is so powerful that it can see into the future and notice all the things that are going to become problems once the fence isn’t there to distract you anymore. And let me tell you: behind that fence, our curb appeal is critically deficient in the “appeal” department.
The porch railings are done!
You ever have one of those projects that should take like, a day, but all of a sudden it’s been 6 weeks and you’re like, why isn’t this done yet? Where are the Five-Percent Fairies??Continue Reading
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My spade can reach, when digging out of sight
Into the sandy soils at your base.
I love thee because I figured, best case,
Digging four holes — forty-two inches deep,
And fourteen inches diameter, each —
At the rate I work, would take me four days.
But using our combined strength, Chris and I
Had those holes dug in just over an hour.
Then, as often happens, Chris had to fly;
And it didn’t take long for my mood to sour.
He packed his bags, and after we said good-bye,
I poured those footings using only my own power.
My iambic pentameter may be weak, but my deck is strong.Continue Reading
Aw, Jesus. Where do I even start?
Let’s start with these comments, left by an incredibly smart and helpful reader is way smarter than I’ll ever hope to smart:
You need to install a line of temporary shoring to support the roof TODAY. Support the “beam” (it might be a hollow box) in line with the current posts. jack posts between each post (with a plate on top), sitting on a double 2×12 plate, secured top and bottom. Get your roof properly supported and then you can deal with the deck framing.
I’d ditch the stone. I’d pour a sonotube 6″ above grade and run 4X4 pressure treated posts all the way up. (you can hack your round columns in half to hide the 4X4’s) Then build out, and trim base of the the posts to suit your house.
Something like this:
When you start writing your blog post by googling “which DEFCON is the worst,” and “antonyms for integrity,” you know it’s going to be a good one.