Say that one three times fast.
You know, I’ve been worried about this blog post for several weeks now. Because — and here’s the cool part — this project is THE LAST PROJECT in The Boom Boom Room. (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) So I needed the project to turn out well, which on its own was cause for concern, because it’s something I’ve never attempted before and has a reputation for being unfriendly to beginners. But my real concern was the actual blog post. Because after nearly 7 months of Boom Boom Room blog posts inspired by rock song titles, I had no. idea. what song I could possibly use for a post about tufting an ottoman.
I was really stretching my imagination to find a rock and roll song that might, just maybe, if I could take some serious liberties with the English language, might actually sound like it had something to do with upholstery. Let me repeat that: I needed to find a rock song about upholstery.
It would be easier to find Waldo in a candy cane factory.Continue Reading
Imagine this, if you will: Chris is outside, mowing the lawn, wearing earbuds, minding his own business, just doin’ chores and listenin’ to tunes. Suddenly, I come running out of the house and scare the crap out of him because he’s totally not expecting to see me outside of the house in my pajamas at 2 in the afternoon.
“Hey, Craigslist Master! I need you to find something for me.”
Chris: (removes his earbuds and shuts down the lawn mower in a patient and not-at-all annoyed manner, as if to say, “Go on.”)
Me: “I need you to find me a bunch of cheap microphones.”
Chris: “Okay………..I’m kind of busy…”
Me: “I don’t need them right now. I’m just telling you now, before I forget. There’s plenty of time. I just know it takes time to find good deals on stuff. So, you know…keep your eyes open.”
Chris: “Okay…………Like, how many is ‘a bunch’ Like, 5 or 6?”
Me: “I don’t know, as many as you can find? Like, 20? Maybe more?”
Chris: (gives me a look that I will interpret here as, “20 microphones? You think it’s that easy to find 20 microphones just lying around?”)
Me: “If it makes it easier, they don’t have to all look the same. Because I’m going to spray paint them all. Gold. Also, they don’t actually have to be working microphones. They just have to look like microphones. Like microphone skeletons, that’s all I really need.”
Chris: (I have to give him credit, he held off asking this for waaaay longer than I thought he would) “WHY?”
This is why:
I painted the carpet in The Boom Boom Room!
That’s not a euphemism.
You know, this may surprise some of you, but when you tell people that you are going to paint a carpet, the most common reaction is a mixture of doubt and disbelief, with a little bit of “I’m not sure I heard that correctly” thrown in for good measure.
Of course, there are some of you that would be like, “Of COURSE you’re going to paint the carpet! Because it will look TOTALLY RAD!!”
You people — the people who think that — you get it. You are my people. Because it looks totally freakin’ rad.
These are my Ardex counter tops.
You may remember them from such posts as Faux-Crete Counters (From Scratch!) and To Faux-crete or not to Faux-crete? They were super easy, super fast, super DIY-friendly, and — my personal favorite — super cheap. I still appreciate them, for all of those reasons. But do I still love them?
Folks, it’s been over a year since we built these counters and skim-coated them with Ardex, and I’m here today to tell you: the honeymoon is over.
Thanks to the magic of the internet, I’ve recorded everything important that I’ve ever said about how awesome it is to skim-coat your counter tops with concrete, even if it scratches really easily. For instance, at the end of my last post on this subject, I included this little gem:
And you know what? I just realized that if it gets really bad, I could always strip the wax and put on a new coat of Ardex. It would be a one-day project, because the Ardex is so easy (and I have half a bag left over).
Well, last weekend, I’d finally had enough of the scratches, and I decided it was time to test this optimistic theory.
POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!!
What is the most tedious, messiest, most boring but somehow also most irritating DIY job you can think of? Is it:
A) Removing popcorn ceiling
B) Mudding, taping, and sanding drywall
C) A combination of A and B
D) What…? Oh, shit. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been out of school, and I was never good at pop quizzes, and it’s Saturday morning and I came here looking for something light and humorous and I thought maybe this post was going to be about Speed which is one of the greatest Keanu Reeves movies of all time if you don’t count Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and now there’s a FREAKING QUIZ?? NOBODY TOLD ME!! I DIDN’T EVEN STUDY!!!
If you chose D, settle down. I play favorites, so your actual grade is based on whether or not you read this post all the way to the end.
I WILL KNOW if you finish it.
You guys, I’m sorry. I apologize for the post you are about to read. Let me just get this out of the way: I made hanging planters out of mason jars. See ’em back there?
I know. I know what you’re thinking. There are three possible reactions to this:
1) You are a blogger and you are thinking, “Yay! Another mason jar craft! I will add this to one of my 17 Pinterest boards devoted to mason jar crafts!”
2) You are a blogger and you are thinking, “Jesus H. Christ, ANOTHER FREAKING MASON JAR CRAFT?? How trite/unoriginal/clichéd. What happened, Sarah? You used to be cool.”
3) You are not a blogger, and you are wondering what the hell I’m blathering about, but at this point you’ll probably keep reading because blathering is not unusual for me, and there’s a 50/50 chance that there’s a punchline in here somewhere.Continue Reading
Alternative title: How to Cover Shit Up and Pretend It’s Not There. Because I don’t know anything about bricks and mortar. But I do know how to cover shit up and pretend it’s not there.
You guys probably don’t remember this post, where I showed you this sign
but then told you I couldn’t show it to you until the chimney was clean. Well, the chimney got cleaned a while ago, but I still couldn’t show you, because the sign is actually way too small to cover the chimney-hole. So I had to make it bigger. By building a frame.Continue Reading
So if you were looking real close, you might have noticed a little difference in the windows, between the last time you saw them (that would have been in this post, over 10 weeks ago) and the reveal last week.
They’re painted black! And I love them.
And I learned a lesson while painting them. A very important lesson. But before I get to that, would you like to know my tried-and-true method for painting windows? Because this ain’t my first rodeo. Continue Reading
Okay. So. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you might have noticed that the tutorials I’ve written thus far are kind of tongue-in-cheek. Like my other “first tutorial” about how to put up drywall. Or the recent one about how to clean masonry, where I actually mentioned why I don’t like to write tutorials.
That’s all about to change here today, folks, because I’ve 1) learned a new skill — from an expert! 2) practiced it — unlike my usual “this-is-my-first-time-too” tutorials, and 3) actually plan on doing it again someday — unlike the multitude of tedious projects I’ve done, some of which I would never do again, and suggesting that you should try them makes me feel kinda bad.
Remember how amazing it is? Sometimes I forget because it’s stashed up in a room that hasn’t been built around it yet, so I don’t get to see it often.
Mmmm-hmmm. So now, here’s the part where I shock you: I refinished it this week.Continue Reading