Welp, I did it. I pulled the trigger and started ordering bathroom stuff. I guess once you put something out there on the internet for millions of people to see (or more like 12 people, if you’re me), the pressure to stop talking and start doing increases exponentially (or maybe just slightly, whatever, I’m not good with pressure).
Which is one way of saying, I’m still not actually “doing” anything, unless shopping counts. I clicked “buy” a couple of times on the computer. And made one unsuccessful shopping trip to IKEA, where I learned: never take a toddler to IKEA to buy a bathroom vanity. I came home with $5 worth of brightly colored plastic cups and plates and no bathroom vanity. I was going to order it online but they wanted $75 for shipping and I was like, are you kidding? I am on a $1500 budget for a gut-job bathroom remodel and I live 15 minutes away and you want MONEY to deliver it right to my door?
I somehow managed to make it through the minefield that IKEA has delightfully named the “Marketplace” with only the aforementioned plastic cups and plates, and into the bathroom section, only to find that the tags on the sink and vanity I had planned to pick up said “Contact staff for purchase and information,” rather than simply listing the self-serve bay area where I had hoped to, you know, self-serve and GTFO. I looked around and saw no staff to contact. The tags on the faucets I wanted said “This item is available in BATHROOM.” I looked around BATHROOM – which I assumed was where I was standing – and saw no faucets packaged for purchase. Meanwhile, my kid is dragging a plastic step stool from one display to the next, trying out all the faucets and getting increasingly upset that no water is coming out, and I have to pee and am surrounded by toilets that say “for display purposes only.”
$75 for delivery?! I will give you $200 if I never have to set foot in an IKEA ever again.
Anyhoo. Assuming that I do, at some point, manage to procure a sink and vanity, here’s what I have planned so far:
The overarching decor theme I’m going for is “traditional with a modern twist,” and also, more importantly,”cheap but nicer than it was.” We’ll be replacing the vinyl floor with different vinyl floor (faux-marble instead of pink-and-gray-swirl!), and the wallboard with different wallboard (faux-beadboard instead of pink-and-gray-swirl!). My sensibilities cry out for ALL THE TILE but my budget says, “this will not be your house for much longer, get over it.”
I satisfied my need for bling with a vanity light that appears to be encrusted with rhinestones and yet, somehow, cost less than $100. I didn’t consult with Chris, and when it arrived on our doorstep I made him watch me unpack it with great fanfare, so that I could see his reaction because of course he was going to think it was as awesome as I thought it was.
He said, and I quote: “Huh. I don’t know if I would have gone with sparkly.”
I said, “You say sparkly like it’s a bad thing.”
He said, “I guess it’s better than the one we have, right?”
Dear god, yes. Of course it’s better than the one we have. Could you set the bar any lower?
In the 11 years we’ve lived in this house, that light fixture has never had more than 3 working bulbs in it at a time. Intentionally. I used to think it was so that we didn’t burn our retinas out every time we turned it on, until Chris informed me that it was to save electricity. Why pay to light 6 bulbs when 3 will do? I’ll put the $6 we saved over the last 11 years toward the price of the new light fixture.
Speaking of saving money, do you guys remember when I customized the millwork in Rowan’s room and what a great idea that was? And when I say “great,” I mostly mean it sarcastically? I wasn’t going to do that here in this bathroom remodel, because, you know, time and money. Mostly time. But I priced out trim and it was literally the most expensive line item in the budget. So before I presented the budget to Chris, I spent quite a bit of time convincing myself that I could live with the bowed and twisted pine 1×4’s and 1×6’s that currently serve as our casings, because I knew Chris would not agree to spend that much money on such a small detail. In my heart I knew they looked like shit and although a potential buyer probably would NOT notice new casings, they probably WOULD notice the shitty old ones. Plus I really wanted new ones. I would totally spend time and money that we don’t really have, despite any lessons I should have learned the last time I customized moldings. What I needed was someone to tell me “no,” and I knew Chris would be my guy.
And then we sat down to discuss the budget and before I even opened up the spreadsheet I had prepared, he said, “We should probably replace the casings around the door and window in there, huh?”
This is my happy face.
Now I’ve got a box of casing in my basement that needs to be resized (I’ll refer you again to this post). And then it’ll have to be painted, along with a box of baseboard and a box of shoe molding and a box of wainscot cap.
At least I’ll have plenty to do while we wait for the stars to align and present us with three days in a row during which neither Chris nor I have to work, and friends and family are available to take the kid off our hands. July isn’t looking good, so maybe early August, but Chris doesn’t get his work schedule until July 20th. So I guess I’ll just sit here and get more pregnant while we wait.