Remember that time it took me 5 months to paint a room? Guess how long it took me to do this one:
One week! Can you believe that? One week! And not just the walls, but the woodwork, too. And now the living room is all matchy matchy with the dining room.
Which is matchy matchy with the kitchen.
So this is what it looks like when you walk in my front door now.
And I was totally digging the brightness and the flow and the cohesiveness of all that space. Except, of course, until I took that picture above, and now that I’m looking at it I realize that the entryway – the dim, flow-breaking, incohesive entryway – is totally harshing my mellow.
And as excited as I am to move on from this paint-a-thon, now’s there’s this little voice in the back of my head saying, “PSSSST! It’s gonna look so much better when it’s done.” You remember that voice. I’ve introduced her before.
She is insidious, that one. Her powers are not to be underestimated. And she has two main tactics which I logically recognize every time I see them but am nevertheless powerless to stop. First of all, she has the ability to completely shift the focus of my eyeballs. For instance, logically, the following pictures are “after” pictures of the living room.
You know that’s what they are because of things like proportion, focal point, and arrangement in a photo instinctively cue our brains as to the subject in a photo. And because the title of this post is “This Post is About the Living Room.” I know that’s what they are because I took them and I know for a fact that I was trying to take photos of the living room, because this post is about the living room and it needed pictures.
And yet, when I look at these pictures, I do not see the living room. Thanks to It’s-gonna-look-so-much-better-when-it’s-done Sarah, I see this.
See what I mean? Where’s the focal point now, huh?
The other thing that It’s-gonna-look-so-much-better-when-it’s-done Sarah can do is to splice tantalizing images of prettier, brighter entryways into the visual feed from my eyes to my brain. So like, I’m looking at this:
And then all of a sudden, for a split second, with no warning, I’ll see this flash before my eyes:
Or this, which is exactly what you’d expect:
And then, BAM! THIS!
It’ll be there and gone so fast, I’m not even sure I saw it. Like that scene in Fight Club. And I know that It’s-gonna-look-so-much-better-when-it’s-done Sarah knows how to splice images like that, because I was a movie theater projectionist for years, and she knows everything I know, which in and of itself is a pretty damn good superpower.
Anyway. The purpose of these subliminal images is to create a sense of longing strong enough to overcome all the other voices in my head, the vast majority of which are screaming, “Nope! We are NOT painting any more woodwork! Let’s do something less tedious!!”
And then there’s Instant-gratification Sarah, who’s pissed because the only reason she ever agrees to do any project is so she can see the before-and-afters, and here we are, nearly 600 words into this post about the living room, and I’ve gotten off-topic without showing a single before-and-after pic of the living room.
Well, if I can only make one person happy today, it might as well be the person with the easiest request.
That was fun. Let’s do it again, but from a little further back.
Hey, you know what my favorite part of this project is? For years, I’ve been talking about picking out my most favoritest pictures from our travels and hanging them as art. Not literally talking, because now that I think of it I don’t recall ever saying it out loud to anyone. But you know, “talking” in the metaphorical sense, or as some people might say, “thinking.” Anyway. I haven’t done it because A) there’s probably over 1,000 pictures to choose from, so it’s no small task to narrow it down to the 10 that I could fit on my walls, and B) with the curtains and the distracting influence of the woodwork, I was kinda afraid it would look cluttered if I started hanging stuff on the walls.
But now the curtains are gone and the woodwork is in the background and LOOK AT ALL THIS BLANK SPACE I HAVE.
So while the voices in my head try to come to a conclusion about what our next project will be and whether or not the paint-a-thon will continue, I’m going to decorate.
I believe the time has come to organize my photo collection.