POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!!
What is the most tedious, messiest, most boring but somehow also most irritating DIY job you can think of? Is it:
A) Removing popcorn ceiling
B) Mudding, taping, and sanding drywall
C) A combination of A and B
D) What…? Oh, shit. It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been out of school, and I was never good at pop quizzes, and it’s Saturday morning and I came here looking for something light and humorous and I thought maybe this post was going to be about Speed which is one of the greatest Keanu Reeves movies of all time if you don’t count Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and now there’s a FREAKING QUIZ?? NOBODY TOLD ME!! I DIDN’T EVEN STUDY!!!
If you chose D, settle down. I play favorites, so your actual grade is based on whether or not you read this post all the way to the end.
I WILL KNOW if you finish it.
Let me help you out: the answer is C: A combination of removing popcorn ceiling and mudding/taping/sanding drywall. I know this from experience. But we’ll get to that in a minute.
Okay, did you guess it? It’s the music room!
In real life, I’ve already been working on this project for three or four weeks. But through blog magic, you get to see the room go from this
…in only a matter of minutes!
And then I’ll explain the title of this post, which I’m sure you’re wondering about.
So. One Sunday evening about four weeks ago, I was sitting around and relaxing like normal people probably do. And I started thinking, “I would TOTALLY like to PAINT something right now.” Which, I suppose, is something a normal person might think once in a while. One thing led to another, and it didn’t take long before I was considering the music room. Which has been on my “paint” list for a while.
But it also has three ceilings covered in The Texture That Must Not Be Named.
And suddenly — this is where you and I probably differ — I was thinking, “I am TOTALLY in the mood for a TEDIOUS, MESSY, IRRITATING project right now!”
Which is not at all like painting, because painting is mindless and soothing and does not require hazmat suits.
But it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now. There are about a million “how to remove popcorn ceiling” tutorials out there. I’m not going to reinvent the wheel, here. This one is pretty good. The main idea is this:
- Get it wet. Really wet.
- Let it sit for a bit.
- Scrape it before it dries.
- Sand, prime, paint, and enjoy!
Unless your ceilings were not primed before they were popcorned.
Or some other unknown reason why this would not work as well for me as it does for EVERYBODY ELSE.
Also, look out for shoddy joint-taping jobs. How do you know if your sheetrock joints are improperly taped? When you get it wet and ALL THE TAPE COMES OFF. If this happens to you, you will have to spend a few extra days re-taping all your joints before you can address the shredded paper that used to be your ceiling.
Isn’t this a fun little hole we’ve dug ourselves into?
Which leads me to this tutorial about how to skim coat and repair damaged drywall. Again, allow me to paraphrase:
- Prime the damaged drywall with RX-35. (This would have been helpful had I learned about it 4 days sooner.)
- Use a 12″ taping knife to spread a thin coat of slightly-watered-down joint compound over the entire wall.
- Sand, prime, paint, and enjoy!
Unless the paper on your drywall is Just. Too. Damaged.
In that case, you’re screwed. And you’re gonna get lots of little “bubbles” in your skim coat (unless that RX-35 primer is as magical as it claims it is, but I wouldn’t know), and you should probably just burn your house down.
Or, if your husband reduced your insurance coverage in attempt to curb your arsonous tendencies, you could try covering the bubbly areas with a thicker layer of joint compound.
It worked. Mostly.
*dusts hands off, walks away* Good enough.
Next step: Prime, paint, and enjoy!
And now, it’s time for that explanation. And one more quiz.
You see, I made the mistake of mentioning to Chris that I wanted a new, catchier name for the music room. Because “the music room” sounds so stuffy and boring and formal. Like there should be a grand piano in there and a harp and a 24/7 flautist. I think it needs a name with a little more…punch. Pizzazz, if you will. Something that more accurately describes what to expect when you walk in.
I was thinking something along the lines of, “Chris’s Rock-n-Roll-Inspired Man-Cave That Is Also Pretty Enough That I Don’t Have to Keep the Door Closed.”
Chris thinks it should be “The Sexnasium.”
Kinda like “gymnasium,” but sexier, I guess?
He suggested this, justified it by saying, “That’s why I got into this music shit in the first place: ladies love the guitar,” then launched into a cheesy rendition of the classic 80’s hair band ballad “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” (← FYI, I typed “Thorns” while Chris was looking over my shoulder just now and he immediately corrected me. How could I not know? Can you believe he condescended to marry me?) while making an awkward thrusting motion with his hips, which, of course, caused me to involuntarily drop my panties, because that’s what classic 80’s hair band ballads are designed to do.
He’s all mine, ladies. All. Mine.
I gotta give him credit, though: his suggestion is a lot shorter than mine. Possibly even catchier. Which I will not ever admit to his face.
And now that you’ve had your explanation of the title, here’s that final quiz I was talking about: What do you think I should call the music room? Should it be:
A) Chris’s Rock-n-Roll-Inspired Man-Cave That Is Also Pretty Enough That I Don’t Have to Keep the Door Closed
B) The Sexnasium
C) Something else entirely, such as __________________.
Leave your answers in the comments below! I will choose the one I like the best, and the winner will get the honor of naming a room in my house, and having that name live forever on this (in)famous blog. Also, I will try to convince Chris to sing a cheesy song for you, which I will record in video form and post here. Just for you.
But you have to leave a comment if you want a chance to win.
Update: After several votes for “Sexnasium” and a couple other sexually suggestive names, I pointed out to Chris that the majority of the time, all the occupants of this room will be DUDES. And did he really want to invite his friends over to play in his Sexnasium? He admitted that maybe it wasn’t such a good idea. But. We still need a catchy name. So I’m open to suggestions, probably for quite a while…may I recommend that we all think a little more rock-and-roll, and a little less Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name?