Alternative title: How to Cover Shit Up and Pretend It’s Not There. Because I don’t know anything about bricks and mortar. But I do know how to cover shit up and pretend it’s not there.
You guys probably don’t remember this post, where I showed you this sign
but then told you I couldn’t show it to you until the chimney was clean. Well, the chimney got cleaned a while ago, but I still couldn’t show you, because the sign is actually way too small to cover the chimney-hole. So I had to make it bigger. By building a frame.
Ah, remember those days, not so long ago (or, approximately 17 months ago), when “framing” something meant “building stud walls“? Now it just means “making a frame.” I didn’t even get to use a hammer for this one. I did, however, get to use a miter saw, a table saw, a drill, and a Kreg jig. And it was still an easier framing project than this one.
(Warning — affiliate links ahead! This announcement brought to you by the FTC.) All it took was a couple of 1×4’s, my trusty Kreg Jig and pocket screws (seriously, I didn’t use glue or clamps or nails or anything — we’re not talking about a major structural project here), eye screws, picture wire, and a couple of tiny ferrules.
Oh, and this sign:
Actually, you could use any tin sign you wanted. This would even work for something less blasphemous, if you prefer.
Me? I enjoy being greeted by a profane rooster every time I walk down the stairs.
I used Minwax Whitewash Pickling Stain to stain the background, and Minwax Ebony to stain the frame. I did the staining while the background piece was still separate from the frame pieces, so I didn’t have worry about being neat. Once everything was dry, I pocket-screwed the whole thing together and gave it a coat of Polycrylic (in a satin finish) before hanging it up with the eye screws and picture wire.
I made sure that the screw up top went into a ceiling joist, too, believe me. What once was a lightweight tin sign is now a 22″x28″ chunk of wood, with the power to rip a big hole in my new kitchen ceiling if not properly supported.
Oh, and you know what? I guess I lied — I did get to use a hammer for this project. I used finish nails to hang the sign on the frame.
I guess that means this does count as a real framing project.