The 3044 Special.

A long time ago, in a blog post far, far away, we moved our back door.  And when the door went, our house numbers went with it.

two back doors

Recently, Chris decided it was time to put the house numbers back up.  Now watch as I create an ENTIRE POST out of something as simple as installing house numbers.

classy house numbersContinue Reading

Dark Side of the Moon

There are two things we need to address today.  1)  This wall, which I left unpainted last time.

primed and ready for paint

And 2) Today’s rock-and-roll inspiration: the 1973 album from progressive rock band Pink Floyd.  Side note: my favorite song off the album?  Money.

Obviously.Continue Reading

White Wedding

I have to tell you something important.  Months and months and months ago, I showed you this picture:

music room makeover

I spent hours learning Photoshop just to make that picture, just to show Chris, just in an attempt to convince him that “look how tastefully and simply I could makeover your room, if you just let me make you this desk and shelves.”  And it worked.

plywood strip desk 3

But.  “Tasteful” and “simple” are not words I’d often choose to describe my ideas.  And as you may have noticed, that Photoshopped image above does not exactly scream “ROCK AND ROLL!!!”

Now that I have the desk, and the popcorn ceiling is gone, and painting is imminent, it’s time to pull the old bait-and-switch.Continue Reading

The Sexnasium?

POP QUIZ, HOT SHOT!!

pop quiz

Yoink! from here.

Ready?

What is the most tedious, messiest, most boring but somehow also most irritating DIY job you can think of?  Is it:

A)  Removing popcorn ceiling
B)  Mudding, taping, and sanding drywall
C)  A combination of A and B
D)  What…?  Oh, shit.  It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been out of school, and I was never good at pop quizzes, and it’s Saturday morning and I came here looking for something light and humorous and I thought maybe this post was going to be about Speed which is one of the greatest Keanu Reeves movies of all time if you don’t count Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and now there’s a FREAKING QUIZ??  NOBODY TOLD ME!!  I DIDN’T EVEN STUDY!!!

If you chose D, settle down.  I play favorites, so your actual grade is based on whether or not you read this post all the way to the end.

I WILL KNOW if you finish it.

I'm watching you.

Yoink! from here.

Continue Reading

Porch sittin’ season

Ahhhhh, summer in Minnesota.  Is there anything better than hanging out on the front porch and knocking back a homebrew or two with your friends?

the front porch

Come on over and join me!  We’ll bask in the smell of musty, 30-year-old outdoor carpet…

old outdoor carpet

…enjoy the view over the claustrophobic fence…

the horrible fence

…and try to avoid getting splinters in our asses from the dilapidated furniture and peeling porch components.

peeling paint on the porch columns

Wait, where are you going?  Why are you running away??  I SAID WE HAVE BEER!!!

Well, I guess I don’t blame you.  You probably have your own porch, where you don’t have to worry about contracting tetanus.  Or the plague.  Aren’t you fancy?  All I can offer is the assurance (probably) that most of those paint chips ground into the carpet are probably not lead-based.

Probably.Continue Reading

And our next contestant is….

You’ve all been wondering it: now that the kitchen’s done, what am I going to do next?

I wanted to take a moment today to let you know:  you people sure know how to put the pressure on.  I mean, it’s only been, like, 7 weeks since I birthed a kitchen.  After 18 months of labor.  What on earth makes you think I’m going to do anything next?

Maybe I just want to relax for a bit.

Maybe the scars need a chance to heal.

Maybe — and perhaps most importantly — I need more time to figure out a project that’s even more mind-blowing than this

Kitchen before and after 3

or even this

Mason Jar Craft fail

Because now that I have you, I don’t want to disappoint you.  I’ve come to realize that I cannot live without your adoration.  And now, I am willing to do just about anything to keep you coming back for more.Continue Reading

Post-Project Stress Disorder

The kitchen is done!  Has been for a while now!  And apparently I just took a little time off to recover from my renovation hangover before starting another big house project!

So, hi!  How have you been?  It’s been a couple of weeks since we’ve chatted.  But don’t worry, that doesn’t mean I haven’t been working on anything.  Oh no.  Because I am incapable of doing nothing.  I must always be working, fixing, changing, IMPROVING!!  A ROLLING STONE GATHERS NO MOSS!!  CAN’T SLEEP CLOWN WILL EAT ME!!

cant sleep clownll eat me

Yoink! from here.

“So,” you ask, “if you haven’t been working on the house, and you haven’t been sleeping, what have you been doing during your relaxing break from remodeling projects?”

Excellent question.  And the answer is all around us:  I rebuilt this website.Continue Reading

Descent into Craftiness

You guys, I’m sorry.  I apologize for the post you are about to read.  Let me just get this out of the way: I made hanging planters out of mason jars.  See ‘em back there?

kitchen remodel 9

I know.  I know what you’re thinking.  There are three possible reactions to this:

1)  You are a blogger and you are thinking, “Yay!  Another mason jar craft!  I will add this to one of my 17 Pinterest boards devoted to mason jar crafts!”

2)  You are a blogger and you are thinking, “Jesus H. Christ, ANOTHER FREAKING MASON JAR CRAFT??  How trite/unoriginal/clichéd.  What happened, Sarah?  You used to be cool.”

3)  You are not a blogger, and you are wondering what the hell I’m blathering about, but at this point you’ll probably keep reading because blathering is not unusual for me, and there’s a 50/50 chance that there’s a punchline in here somewhere.Continue Reading

How to fix a hole in masonry

Alternative title: How to Cover Shit Up and Pretend It’s Not There.  Because I don’t know anything about bricks and mortar.  But I do know how to cover shit up and pretend it’s not there.

kitchen remodel 15

You guys probably don’t remember this post, where I showed you this sign

vintage tin sign, censored

but then told you I couldn’t show it to you until the chimney was clean.  Well, the chimney got cleaned a while ago, but I still couldn’t show you, because the sign is actually way too small to cover the chimney-hole.  So I had to make it bigger.  By building a frame.Continue Reading