Magic Carpet Ride

I painted the carpet in The Boom Boom Room!

That’s not a euphemism.

painted carpet, before and after

You know, this may surprise some of you, but when you tell people that you are going to paint a carpet, the most common reaction is a mixture of doubt and disbelief, with a little bit of “I’m not sure I heard that correctly” thrown in for good measure.

Of course, there are some of you that would be like, “Of COURSE you’re going to paint the carpet!  Because it will look TOTALLY RAD!!”

You people — the people who think that — you get it.  You are my people.  Because it looks totally freakin’ rad.

painted carpet with stencils

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Ardex counters: the honeymoon is over.

These are my Ardex counter tops.

Ardex counters

You may remember them from such posts as Faux-Crete Counters (From Scratch!) and To Faux-crete or not to Faux-crete?  They were super easy, super fast, super DIY-friendly, and — my personal favorite — super cheap.  I still appreciate them, for all of those reasons.  But do I still love them?

Folks, it’s been over a year since we built these counters and skim-coated them with Ardex, and I’m here today to tell you: the honeymoon is over.

Thanks to the magic of the internet, I’ve recorded everything important that I’ve ever said about how awesome it is to skim-coat your counter tops with concrete, even if it scratches really easily.  For instance, at the end of my last post on this subject, I included this little gem:

And you know what?  I just realized that if it gets really bad, I could always strip the wax and put on a new coat of Ardex.  It would be a one-day project, because the Ardex is so easy (and I have half a bag left over).

Well, last weekend, I’d finally had enough of the scratches, and I decided it was time to test this optimistic theory.

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Europe Lite

“Luxembourg: It’s Europe Lite.  They speak English.  They have kebobs.  The beer is shit.” — Mike B.

Luxembourg 6

And for the record, “kebobs” in Europe are actually gyros.

Also for the record, I don’t personally have anything against European beer.  What it lacks in hops, it makes up for in being the only beer available in Europe.  Luckily, Europe makes good wine.Continue Reading

The 3044 Special.

A long time ago, in a blog post far, far away, we moved our back door.  And when the door went, our house numbers went with it.

two back doors

Recently, Chris decided it was time to put the house numbers back up.  Now watch as I create an ENTIRE POST out of something as simple as installing house numbers.

classy house numbersContinue Reading

Dark Side of the Moon

There are two things we need to address today.  1)  This wall, which I left unpainted last time.

primed and ready for paint

And 2) Today’s rock-and-roll inspiration: the 1973 album from progressive rock band Pink Floyd.  Side note: my favorite song off the album?  Money.

Obviously.Continue Reading

White Wedding

I have to tell you something important.  Months and months and months ago, I showed you this picture:

music room makeover

I spent hours learning Photoshop just to make that picture, just to show Chris, just in an attempt to convince him that “look how tastefully and simply I could makeover your room, if you just let me make you this desk and shelves.”  And it worked.

plywood strip desk 3

But.  “Tasteful” and “simple” are not words I’d often choose to describe my ideas.  And as you may have noticed, that Photoshopped image above does not exactly scream “ROCK AND ROLL!!!”

Now that I have the desk, and the popcorn ceiling is gone, and painting is imminent, it’s time to pull the old bait-and-switch.Continue Reading

The Sexnasium?


pop quiz

Yoink! from here.


What is the most tedious, messiest, most boring but somehow also most irritating DIY job you can think of?  Is it:

A)  Removing popcorn ceiling
B)  Mudding, taping, and sanding drywall
C)  A combination of A and B
D)  What…?  Oh, shit.  It’s been a couple of years since I’ve been out of school, and I was never good at pop quizzes, and it’s Saturday morning and I came here looking for something light and humorous and I thought maybe this post was going to be about Speed which is one of the greatest Keanu Reeves movies of all time if you don’t count Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure and now there’s a FREAKING QUIZ??  NOBODY TOLD ME!!  I DIDN’T EVEN STUDY!!!

If you chose D, settle down.  I play favorites, so your actual grade is based on whether or not you read this post all the way to the end.

I WILL KNOW if you finish it.

I'm watching you.

Yoink! from here.

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Porch sittin’ season

Ahhhhh, summer in Minnesota.  Is there anything better than hanging out on the front porch and knocking back a homebrew or two with your friends?

the front porch

Come on over and join me!  We’ll bask in the smell of musty, 30-year-old outdoor carpet…

old outdoor carpet

…enjoy the view over the claustrophobic fence…

the horrible fence

…and try to avoid getting splinters in our asses from the dilapidated furniture and peeling porch components.

peeling paint on the porch columns

Wait, where are you going?  Why are you running away??  I SAID WE HAVE BEER!!!

Well, I guess I don’t blame you.  You probably have your own porch, where you don’t have to worry about contracting tetanus.  Or the plague.  Aren’t you fancy?  All I can offer is the assurance (probably) that most of those paint chips ground into the carpet are probably not lead-based.

Probably.Continue Reading

And our next contestant is….

You’ve all been wondering it: now that the kitchen’s done, what am I going to do next?

I wanted to take a moment today to let you know:  you people sure know how to put the pressure on.  I mean, it’s only been, like, 7 weeks since I birthed a kitchen.  After 18 months of labor.  What on earth makes you think I’m going to do anything next?

Maybe I just want to relax for a bit.

Maybe the scars need a chance to heal.

Maybe — and perhaps most importantly — I need more time to figure out a project that’s even more mind-blowing than this

Kitchen before and after 3

or even this

Mason Jar Craft fail

Because now that I have you, I don’t want to disappoint you.  I’ve come to realize that I cannot live without your adoration.  And now, I am willing to do just about anything to keep you coming back for more.Continue Reading